A few weeks ago Bossman came up with an idea. (Bossman seems to be a trend in these blog posts.) He decided that I should go on 25 good dates in my 25th year. He clarified that they could all be with the same person, or they could be with 25 different people. This seemed do-able. That’s one date every two weeks – which – if you find somebody you’d actually like to date, that number would probably decrease and you could easily make it to 25 dates in a year. Well, here we are on February 20 – that’s 51 days into the year – 8 weeks into the year – and I’ve only been on 2 (or maybe 3?) dates so far.
Actually, that part doesn’t bother me at all. It’s the vagueness in the terms that bothers me.
Let’s break it down. There are five words here: 25 good dates in 2013. I understand 3 of them. 25 – that’s concrete, 2013 – that’s concrete, in – that’s a preposition. The two words I’m having problems with are “good” and “date”.
First of all, you need to be able to define date. In theory, I understand this concept, but what if you just go out to eat or grab coffee with a friend? Sure, we can evaluate the intentions of the meet up – but the blurry part comes in where you’re going out with a friend you’ve kissed before that you never really discussed what (if anything) was going to come from that. Then what?
I don’t think that it has anything to do with who pays, because I’m definitely the kind of girl who always tries to get her card into the mix. I don’t think it has anything to do with whether or not I put makeup on. Well, let me take that back – if I put makeup on, it’s definitely a date – if I don’t put makeup on, that doesn’t necessarily mean that it isn’t a date. This is one of those square/rectangle things.
Maybe I should just start confirming if these things are dates or not.
Alright, so let’s pretend that I’m absolutely sure that it’s a date. (However I managed to figure that one out.) How do you then decide if it’s good or not?
My favorite way to define it be good is by saying that it was “not bad” – not in the eh, it was okay sense, but rather saying that there was actually nothing bad about it. My friend who walked me home yesterday (not a date) told me that this definition is setting the bar too low – so now I need some requirements.
A good date is one that you had a nice time. There we go using a vague adjective to define another vague adjective.
A good date is one that you would see the person again. Because I tend to believe in second chances this one doesn’t really work.
A good date is one where you felt there was chemistry. Well, that’s not necessarily true either – because you don’t need to have chemistry to enjoy yourself – people hang out with friends all the time.
A good date is defined by how good the kiss was at the end of it. While this one makes me smile – not all dates end in kisses.
A good date is one that the atmosphere is not stressful in any way. I think this one is my favorite (although probably the vaguest) except for the fact that I worry about everything. My newest worry is what happens when you are out on a date and decide you really just want to be friends – do you tell them? If yes, when? At the end of the date? Before the next date? Via text message? Via phone conversation? Ugh.
Alright, it’s official, I need help. What do you think constitutes a good date?