a year of dating

Just in case you hadn’t heard, Bossman had me on a mission this year to go on 25 good dates.  They could all be with different people or all with the same person, it didn’t matter.  It took me until March to define what ‘good’ meant, which I ended up deciding meant if I went on a date and then took a time machine back to before the date would I rather go on the date or blog – and if I chose blog I defined it as a bad date.  It occured to me towards the end of the year I never actually defined the word date, oops.

Jai and I ringing in the New Year in Paris

… how 2013 started …

Since this was such a big part of my year I decided it deserves a recap.  I made it all the way to 25!  In fact, I got to 30 before I stopped counting.  These 25 dates were with 14 different people.  The first question people have been asking is where did you meet all of these people?  Well here’s the breakdown.  7 of them I knew beforehand friends from my hometown, college, or work.  4 of them were friends of friends that I met at parties, weddings, concerts, or just being set up.  3 of them I met out and about – one on a bus and two at a bar.

There’s also an important thing to remember about dating.  When you start dating someone you don’t necessarily have an interest in them.  You have an interest in finding out if you have an interest.  Does that make sense?  I hope so.

I decided that I would entertain y’all with 10 highlights and lessons learned of this experience.

A 25 Good Dates in 2013 Recap

 

Never will I ever give out the spelling of my first name on the first date.
I found out that if I google my first name and the city of Philadelphia, the world is at somebody’s fingertips.  And the images tab is even scarier.  So until I tell people that it’s a y instead of an i I get to keep some kind of anonymity.

Never eat the last pretzel bite.
I’m fine with sharing food, really, I am.  But please don’t ever think you deserve the last bite of food on my plate.  Things will not end well.  The worst part is I would totally let somebody eat the last bite of something during a date without telling them this and then hold it against them later.  I admit it.

Defining a date is harder than defining if it is good.
Hanging out could be a date, or it could not be a date.  Dinner could be a date or it could not be a date.  Sure, intentions play a role in it, but sometimes things don’t feel like a date until the end, and sometimes things that you thought were going to be dates turn out not to feel like them at all.

I definitely have a type.
At the end of the day, when I look back at my dating history, I definitely have a type.  At this point in my life I can 100% tell you that I will end up with somebody with an engineering-minded brain.  This rules out business, liberal arts, and arts.  It’s absolutely nothing against them, they’re just not as compatible with the way my brain works.

Age doesn’t really matter, but it plays a factor.
Throughout the course of this year I went out with people who ranged from 20 to 40, and you know what, I was able to relate to everybody.  There was always something to talk about.  Everybody’s got their own story to tell and every story is worth hearing.  The only thing that age might be able to do is lead to the “we’re at different parts of our lives” discussion, and I don’t think that parts of life are defined by age, they’re defined by experiences.

You can usually decide if you have an interest within 3 dates.
Honestly, it shouldn’t take more dates than this.  By the third date you should either a) know you have an interest, or b) ask the other person if you have the same objectives.  There’s no point in wasting anybody’s time.

Sometimes friends make the best dates.
As I mentioned earlier, some of these dates were with friends.  And the best part about that is that they already know you and they know what you like.  Sounds like a win to me.

I am always and will always be a hot mess.
Such a hot mess, all the time.  Here are three of the worst hot mess situations that I can remember from the year when it comes to these dates.  There was the one where I fell down the the spiral staircase in my house – 7 stairs to be exact.  There’s a huge mark on the wall from where my leg ran into it and there was a huge bruise on my arm for days from where I grabbed the center railing.  There was the one where I cut my ankle shaving, but didn’t know and made a lovely hot mess out of a hotel room.  (Ladies, you know what this is like.)  There was also the one where I flooded his second floor bathroom, which then leaked down to the first floor hardwood.  And these are just the first three that came to mind.  Somebody’s just going to have to accept this about me and laugh along with me.  (Not at me, huge difference.)

I learned what it would feel like to date myself.
One of the guys that I went out with was a ball of energy, got really excited over little things in life, and just had a lot of passion for trying new things.  It was a really really attractive quality in him.  You can’t have two people who are balls of energy on a date because that’s just going to be obnoxious, so I ended up playing the role of the calmer person, which was pretty out of character for me.  I realized at the end of it, however, that that must be what guys that are a little older than me feel like when they go out with me.

I got the chance to kiss my middle school crush.
Unfortunately, it didn’t go anywhere, but I’ve got to tell you, I was worried after having this crush for so long that it was going to be a let down, but I definitely wasn’t disappointed.

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That’s officially the most personal blog post I think I’ve written in this space.  I feel pretty good about it.  Not exactly sure how my mother is going to feel about it, but I think she’ll survive.

So tell me, what was your dating experience like in 2013?

  • http://escapedfromla.wordpress.com co0kiejamie

    this post is awesome…I told you about some of my dating experiences of 2013, but my favorite instance of getting asked out (which I declined) was when I got asked to by the ice cream peddler in my hood – that shit was funny. My favorite date that I did go on was the memorable one I told you about back in June…we actually did end up dating for a few months (we are just friends now though lol). There are a couple of honorable mentions in there, but I’ll have to tell you about them in person.

    • http://www.chrystinanoel.com ChrystinaNoel

      I can’t wait to hear all about it :)

  • http://twitter.com/HerPhilly Her Philly (@HerPhilly)

    Loved this post! Your hot mess stories made me LOL. I think I am going to try counting my dates this year – great idea to look back on & see what you’ve learned. Here’s to good luck in 2014! ;)

  • http://www.chasing-joy.com Chasing Joy

    This was awesome. 30 dates in a year is amazing to me. I think I went on about 12 or so and half were with one person. We are no longer dating now though. I hope to go on more dates in 2014.

    • http://www.chrystinanoel.com ChrystinaNoel

      Thank you, thank you. 30 was actually crazy – and sometimes it felt like dating for dating’s sake (which isn’t good for anybody actually). Here’s to more fun in 2014 :)

  • gstephen1

    Hi Chrystina, really enjoyed your post took me back to my pre marriage days :) The good thing about your journey is, you’re getting a very clear idea on the right type of man for you. Thanks for sharing.

    Stopping over from #FlashbackFriday!

    • http://www.chrystinanoel.com ChrystinaNoel

      I’m glad you enjoyed it! And you’re right, that’s definitely been a benefit of this whole thing.