You may or may not know that I used to be an RA – resident assistant that is. Not to be confused with a research assistant. This means that I was responsible for about 50 students a year, planned events for them, held meetings with them, made sure they did nothing wrong (or didn’t get caught), and was available to them 24/7 with answers to all sorts of interesting questions. This also means that I have a lot of RA friends. I recently emailed about 25 of them to gather the best stories they have. The ones that they may not have been able to tell while they were an RA. The ones that we still can’t believe actually happened. But really, we can, because that’s what working in residential living is all about. This is part one of a two part post, I’ve sorted them alphabetically. Enjoy!
Warning: This post is rated PG13. Mom, you might not want to read it. All stories were submitted by a real (and retired) RA, names are being withheld to protect the innocent (or not so innocent).
- A student was scheduled to move in a vacant spot. Another RA and I had to go in to make sure the roommate (a stunning innocent girl) had made space and moved her belongings so the new student could easily move in. The first dresser draw we opened was full of vibrators, lube, fuzzy handcuffs, and lots of other great toys. It was like finding the holy grail.
- About 10 years after first becoming an RA, I can still attest that pizza and/or waffles will get anyone to come to the most banal of meetings.
- Being woken up on my graduation day to attend to a drunk person locked in a bathroom
- Definitely do not hook up with other RAs on staff, especially those that live 50 feet away. Or do. Sometimes they become your life partner.
- During my first floor meeting ever I mentioned we had a floor budget. One of the guys suggested we go to Atlantis (A Strip Club) to be funny. I just said “I don’t know about you but I don’t have to pay to see boobs”.
- I brought down my 40″ TV to the front desk and played Wii during one of my 12hr desk shifts during winter break.
- I dated at least 7 of my residents during or after the time of being their RA.
- I decided to cook 40 pounds of chicken wings for my first RA event.
- I had a guest spend the evening one night when I was on duty. I left her alone for the evening and she proceeded to get drunk with my residents. When her ride showed up the next morning they insisted I call an ambulance to make sure she was okay. This resulted in me needing to call the ADRD on duty and writing an incident report on myself for losing my guest. I lost my guest privileges for a month.
- I had an entire desk drawer of free condoms. Unfortunately, I wasn’t needing many myself.
- I had to have a roommate consultation about how the one roommate did not appreciate the other roommate jerking off at night while he was there.
- I knocked on the door and asked if I could come in. I heard “I’m coming”. Opened the door to see my resident having sex with his girlfriend.
- I once had a resident stop by my room to ask me how to put batteries in her new sex toy.
- I took a resident to his first counselling meeting in planning for changing his gender. It sparked a lifetime of civil rights activism.
- I walked in on my resident rolling up once. His reply to my shock stricken face was, “there’s no need for you to write me up; you said you don’t like paper work”.
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