Today I wanted to share something that’s very special to with you.
No, it’s not this picture. I just somehow decided this was the most relevant picture for this post.
Alright, back to the post.
Fun fact. I really loved writing college essays. This probably explains why blogging comes like second nature to me. I love writing on random topics – and doing it briefly – in a creative and sometimes informal way. Yup, that sounds exactly like a blog.
When I was applying to college I actually applied to 11 of them. Yes, ELEVEN. I was crazy. What really happened was that I was far too lazy to do any research and I was hoping a bunch of them would reject me. So I wrote a lot of essays.
I wrote one about why my favorite color is black, another about the Garden State soundtrack, another about my dad’s cousin, and I’m sure many other boring ones. By far my favorite one to tell people about was one that I only used to apply to NYU. It was an essay about whether or not you tell somebody they have boogers in his or her nose. (I’ll wait for you to read that again.) The crazy part was that I got in with it!
So now I can say that I got into NYU with an essay about boogers. Check it out:
It is green and slimy, and it is hanging out of his nose. I am sure there is a technical term for it, but I guess I still refer to them as boogers. I hate this dilemma.
Do you want to tell the person he has the booger in his nose, or do you ignore it through the entire conversation? Ignoring it does not work, as you talk to this person your eyes roam from his eyes down to the goop dripping out of his nose and then jerk back up to his eyes. Of course, it really is not that obvious to the person you are talking to or else he would have realized that he had something rather unattractive in his nose.
The next option is, rather than directly stating it, is to try rubbing your own nose in order to possibly initiate a move on his part. In some scenarios, this action might cause him to wonder what is going on and would a) eventually leave you alone (which would solve your immediate problem) or b) ask what the problem is, which would be merely circuitous. To tell him, or to not tell him, that is the question. Who would have thought Hamlet’s words would have become twisted enough to contemplate a dilemma concerning boogers?
How courteous a person you are, or rather how outgoing a person you are might be the basic issue. It is a rather embarrassing situation, for you and the person involved; only he does not know he has a reason to be embarrassed. Most of the time you do not want to embarrass the other person. You want him to find out after the fact and leave him with hope that it was not there the whole time. Hoping is better than knowing because it leaves room for relief. Allowing the person to be hopeful is one of the kindest ways to handle the situation, unless he is scheduled to be at a job interview or leaving for a blind date. In either of those cases, it is your duty to tell him.
Someone should invent a signal for scenarios like this. If someone forgets to pull up a zipper on his pants, you can say “x, y, z;” the point is made, the zipper is up in half a second. What can you say if you have a bad case of slime up your nose, “a, b, c,” abnormal booger concentration? It does not have quite the same sophisticated sound. If you are feeling brave, you could, by sleight of the hand, wipe his nose without him knowing, by saying you like to perform magic tricks in your spare time. That, however, seems a risky solution.
The best way to handle this potentially embarrassing situation would be to bluntly tell him he needs to find the fastest way possible to wipe his nose. Why become involved with all of the acting and trickery if there is a simple solution to the problem? He will probably thank you in the end.
Did you have any awesome college essays?