Community Building
Below are just a few ways you can add community building into your day-to-day life.
Sending cards and gifts
Everyone loves getting snail mail from friends and family. It’s usually unexpected and reminds you someone is thinking of you. Holidays and birthdays are great excuses, but any day of the year will work. Gifts can be small, too - I once mailed hot chocolate packets to my cousin’s kids, and they arrived on a perfect snowy day!
Greeting Card Inspiration
Hosting gathering and workshops
I love creating experiences for friends - whether it’s a simple dinner party, a chocolate tasting, a beer tasting, or a movie night, it can be so fun to create a space for someone to escape their real life for a while. Recently, I’ve started hosting workshops as parties as well - you can bring in a guest host who knows more on a subject that you and your friends want to know more about.
Writing quarterly email updates
My friend Justin gave me the idea to write email updates to friends periodically. I took the idea and ran with it and it has become my quarterly email newsletter to the people with whom I’m the closest in life. This gives me an opportunity to connect with those people at least four times a year and whether they respond with one sentence or an equal-sized novella, it always makes my heart happy.
Being transparent
While this is not a super tangible thing, it is incredibly important in community building. In order to build trust, someone needs to start by giving a little, then the other person gives, and you grow from there. I have found that my transparency - about both positive and negative things - has been appreciated both with friends and in the workplace.
Introducing people to each other
This is one of my all-time favorite things to do. When I find two friends who have something in common, I make a mental note to connect the two if the opportunity ever arises. You can introduce people in person or through an email, but I always recommend getting an opt-in from both parties before sending the initial email to avoid awkwardness.
Masterminding conferences
I feel so privledged that this is something I’ve gotten to do multiple times in my life. I learned a lot from these experiences - I recommend starting with your intended output and backtracking into how to get there, what resources you will need, and who can help give your guests a one-of-a-kind experience.
Asking icebreaker questions
Every party I ever host, and almost every meeting I facilitate, has an icebreaker question involved. While people roll their eyes at first, it’s usually the only opportunity to give every attendee a chance to speak individually, and who doesn’t love answering questions about themselves? (Tip: Give shy folks a heads up about the question.)
Listening actively
A second not super tangible thing, but an equally important part in community buliding. This is something I’ve been working on in recent years - being present - not thinking about the next thing I’m going to say, and not thinking about where I want the conversation to go, but rather hearing something for what it is. (Tip: Try coloring during meetings if you consistently find yourself distracted by your inbox.)
Sharing knowledge
Each time you bring people together, they’re gathered around a common idea or a common thought, so why not just start with the knowledge? Crowd-sourcing information and reporting back efficiently and effectively on what you’ve found makes everyone smarter and can open the door for new conversations to be had.
Developing a personal RM tool
I’ve worked hard to develop a personal relationship managing (RM) tool. It’s currently a combination of a few sites and documents, but it helps me store everyone’s contact information, recent communciations, and how I know people in one location. Currently a use a combination of Google Contacts, Google Sheets, and Postable and contains both people from my personal and professional worlds. I’d love to hear how you keep track of it all.
Creating a stay in touch plan
Nothing can happen (consistently) without a plan in place. Each year I review my personal RM tool to see who I want to be staying in better touch with throughout the year, how I stay in touch with people, and who I should reach out to just to see how they’re doing. By making this plan I have something to benchmark myself against all year.
Memory keeping
One of my favorite ways to build community is to build systems to keep memories. I have 1000s of photos, boxes of old cards and letters from friends, and a small binder for all of the paper accoutrements acquired during each friend’s wedding. I’ve found that this is is a great way to connect with people later - when you pull up an old memory you can connect people to a prior time, place, and feeling.
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