5 Things About Dinner Parties the Brunch Is Hell Guys Said Perfectly
Listen to Chrystina discuss her favorite points from the book “Brunch Is Hell” in Episode 26 of the Party Ideas & Logistics with Chrystina Noel podcast, above.
When I found out that the guys from the Dinner Party Download were writing a book called Brunch Is Hell, I was excited. “The guys” are named Rico and Brendan. Their podcast consisted of an hour-long celebration of culture, food, and conversations designed to help you dazzle your friend’s at this weekend’s get-together. And the sub title of their book is: how to save the world by throwing a dinner party. What’s not to love?
In the first few pages, you notice that these guys definitely have some things against brunch. They managed to find every campy, unnecessary, millennial thing about brunch and explain over the course of their dinner party manifesto why it’s the worst. Admittedly, I was feeling a little iffy at this point. I love brunch. I’ve written posts about why brunch is awesome. I’ve made infographics about brunch. I’ve written about ways to make it fancier. I’ve written about ways to make it lazier. My entire 25th birthday party was themed around a late night boozy brunch. I really love brunch. But hey, I’m a millennial.
I kept going though.
Honestly, I figured this is probably my one chance to be a super hero in life. If there’s one thing I’m good at, it’s parties, so if there’s a chance that skill can help me save the world, I was already a leg up. I even have plenty of aprons I can use as a cape.
And I’m glad I did. Because there’s a few things that these guys nailed in their discussion of dinner parties. And I’m here to share those with you today.
If you live in a small apartment, there’s no need for a table.
Rico and Brendan spend an entire chapter defining a dinner party. They got to the party where they talked about how you need a table for a dinner party. And I started to get nervous. Because I recently got rid of the table in my living room. But then all the way at the end of the chapter there’s an “exceptions” section. And by golly, one of the exceptions is that if your apartment is so small that you can easily talk across the room, you don’t need a table. Sure, you may need to choose food that people can eat off of their laps, or make sure you have enough coffee and side tables for people to put plates and drinks on, but you don’t need a formal table. The purpose of the table is to bring everybody together so that they’re not spread out around the house. But in my 12′ x 15′ living room, that’s not a problem.
Flowers make a great centerpiece… before dinner.
I’ve talked about this before on the blog and on the podcasts. Flowers sound like a great idea, until you realize that when they’re in the middle of the table nobody can see anybody, so they have to come off the table when you eat, and then you just wasted money on fresh flowers. Seriously not worth it y’all. I’ve said it before. Brendan and Rico have now said it. Save yourself the money. That’s not what people are there for.
Tell the first person to arrive to greet the new arrivals.
This was my favorite. I realized that I do it without even thinking about it. Tell the first person to greet the new arrivals. It makes the new arrival feel welcome. It helps to introduce people who may not know each other (but with purpose, which makes it less awkward). And it gives you more time to keep preparing for the party when you’re running super behind. (They didn’t say this, I did. I’m always late.) Actually this sounds a heck of a lot like one of my favorite party ice breakers where I tell a bunch of people who don’t know each other to get in a car together.
The food is the least important part of a dinner party.
Yes. This. It’s about people. It’s about conversation. It’s not about the food. (Although, admittedly, I don’t know how my podcast co-host Jess is going to feel about this one.) I’ve slowly started to figure this out and have switched to things in life like funfetti cupcakes, boxed mixes, crock-pot dishes, and pizza. Between me, these guys, and Ann Shoket serving fancy frozen pizza and rose at her badass babes dinners, I’m pretty sure this is now law.
Your job as the host is to make your guests feel comfortable.
Always. This was actually my favorite answer that Lauren Caselli gave when I interviewed hosts & hostesses a few years ago. “Understand that your guests’ comfort is important, and try to walk through your part from the perspective of the guest.” It’s on you to make sure your guests know where things are, have everything they need, and feel like they’re a part of the conversation. You don’t get to look like the cool kid, you’re the one who should clarify the jokes, repeat things other people haven’t heard, and be impressed by all your guests stories (within reason). By creating this type of atmosphere the conversation will continue to flow as the drinks flow and soon enough your guests will be engaged in scintillating conversation.
Now. I just told you the things I already agree with. There are plenty of other pieces of tips and advice in this book that are worth reading. I may take them up on the fact that dinner parties are encouraged on Wednesday and Thursday nights. I may even eventually come around to the fact that only 51 percent of the dishes served need to be made at home. I’m realizing I should probably put a drink in my hand for the last 30 minutes of getting ready. The explanation of types of people you may have to deal with at your party is over-the-top and oh-so-accurate. And the analysis that they go into (far too in-depth for me to discuss on this blog post) is incredibly accurate.
You can check out more of their book, Brunch Is Hell, if parties are your jam. And as for their beef with brunch. We’ll need to sit down one day and have a conversation about this. (That’s right, Brendan & Rico, should you read this, this is your formal invitation to be on Gatherings Podcast, we’d love to have you. We’ll also send you an email. Jess just needs to finish the book first.)
Links above may be affiliate, but the post is not sponsored, and all opinions are my own.
