An Ode to Work Friends
Growing up, when we would share stories, my sister and I would talk about our classmates and teammates, my mom would talk about her sisters, and my dad would talk about people from work. He didn’t seem to have friends, only coworkers. But when he talked about them, he always spoke of them fondly - both current and past. I couldn’t understand it. In school, you had friends, and you’d think of work as a place you go to — well, work. Decades later, I started to understand the power of the work friend. The people you spend more time with each day than the ones you’re related to by blood or by choice.
For me, it was the life of a consultant that taught me about this curious connection. A job where you do not know what to expect each day, but it’s you and your team against the world (or at least that’s how it feels). Jumping from project to project, getting to know a new work family each time, building strong connections, collecting inside jokes, and living in a temporary universe that only exists for a moment in time. A time and place where everyone, for one reason or another, came together. That even if you went back to the exact same location, you wouldn’t find many (if any) of them there, and the circumstances would never be the same.
I’ve had work families hubbed in Philadelphia, Louisiana, Colorado, and Puerto Rico. And these families continue to grow as my project repertoire continues to build - both virtually and in person. Groups of people that seemingly know me better than I know myself, who have seen me at my best and at my worst. Groups of people with whom (and for whom) I have traveled across the world attending birthday parties, weddings, festivities, and vacations, capturing photos and creating memories along the way.
To the work friends. The ones with whom we started our careers, the ones we work with, the ones we work for, and the ones that work for us. The ones who are part of our teams, the ones who help support our teams, the ones who consistently remain on our “recent calls” lists, and the ones with whom we sit in meetings at all hours of the day. The ones who help us edit and revise, who help us to make better versions of work products and ourselves, propping us up as we learn to interact with the world around us.
To the work friends who understand the daily grind, the myriad acronyms, the compliance requirements, the political nuances, and the industry gossip. The ones who know what it feels like to be on calls straight through from 8:00am until 6:00pm while you are simultaneously annoyed and overworked, but also living for the five minutes between meetings to trade thoughts — the watercooler talk, the banter in the chat, and the unspoken challenge of trying to get your coworker to laugh by sending ridiculous gifs during meetings.
To the work friends who have watched us grow up, learn how to handle ourselves, lead a room, and manage our arch nemesis of the week. Who sat in the concierge lounge while we proclaimed our anger loudly enough that the staff wondered if we were okay. Who told us that we were not allowed to go to that meeting before eating lunch for fear of hanger leading to unforeseen and unfortunate circumstances. Who questioned if there was a better way to be doing things. Who offered to take something off of our plate. Who we count on to answer their phones in the evening after a few drinks to help assure us we did okay today.
To the work friends who know us best. Who know that you’ll work until two in the morning, but will never skip Thursday dance class. Who know that the color of your wall has nothing to do with the color of your hometown sports team. Who know exactly what phrases will tick you off. Who know how you take your tea, your usual lunch order, and what outfit you think of as your “power suit”. The ones who truly see you beyond the deliverables, the proposals, the client meetings, and the year end metrics and understand why you do what you do.
To the work friends we complain to. About schedules, meeting outcomes, talent issues, that completely unexpected thing the boss said on the last call, and the behind-the-scenes politics that drive every decision - the decisions that build our lives, on purpose or by accident. We help each other survive. We help each other thrive. And we help each other remember who we truly are when everything feels like a mess — when all of the plates that you were already precariously balancing have smashed to the floor.
To the work friends who stay with us until the work is done. The late nights in the office, the hotel conference rooms, and the hotel bars. The late night zoom calls of oversized sweatshirts, with wet hair, and working from the kitchen table, screensharing for hours until you have consensus. The ones who offer an extra set of eyes and last minute corrections. The ones who are there not only because things needs to get done, but because they are just as committed to getting it right — and making sure that you have an end product that you both feel you can at least sort of justify in the morning.
To the work friends we confide in — that we had a hard day, that we’re having a rough week, that our relationships feel harder than usual, that we just need a break to feel whole again. The ones to whom we say things we don’t mean, but they know we just need to get the thoughts out to get to the real point. And they’ve done the same to us. The ones who tell it like it is, who say things that no one else will — the ones with whom we laugh, and the ones in front of whom we cry.
To the work friends we go to with real life problems because they know better than anyone how we process information, take in new ideas, and work through complicated situations. Who process information the same way we do, and share the same language, to make solutioning faster and more organized. They have seen us through these challenges already. They have seen the messy situations we have gotten ourselves into, the complicated situations we’ve gotten out of, and the serendipitous accidents that helped shape who we are.
To the work friends who became more than work friends. Who became friend friends. Who became work family. Who we know (and text) their spouses, their children, and sometimes even their parents. Who when something happens in your “real life” they’re the first people you want to tell because they understand how important your life outside of your day job really is. .Whose photos are printed out and put on the refrigerator, whose names fill our holiday card lists, and who remain on our speed dial long after the project is over. They’ve changed our lives for the better, and for good.
I see now how “coworker” can mean so much more than coworker. In the right circumstances, if you’re really lucky, it can be “person who made me who I am today.”
So to you, my work friends, thank you. Thank you for being there. Thank you for really seeing me, and accepting me, flaws and all — and helping me to become the future version of myself I didn’t even know I could be. Here’s to continuing to grow together, helping each other reach our wildest dreams, and lifting each other up along the way.
