My First Time Golfing

Some of you may know I went golfing last week for the first time. That’s right, I, Chrystina Noel, went golfing, all 18 holes, last week, with only a week’s notice. I’m going to tell you what I learned, but let’s start at the beginning –

Two Fridays ago I got invited by a friend to attend a work-related golf outing – two teams, eight people, just going out to have a good time. I said yes because I figured it would be fun to get to know some new people. That meant I officially had a week to cram to learn everything I possibly could about golf.

First things first: if you have only a week to figure out everything you need to know about golf it takes a village. This was not something that I could have accomplished on my own. I borrowed a friend’s friend’s golf clubs; I was randomly singing with her church choir that week and she was wonderful enough to let me borrow her clubs on the spot. We had met twice before. She was awesome enough to give me a quick 10 minute lesson on what each club was, what was in each pocket of her bag, and how to grip the club). It was at this point that I learned that golf bags could stand on their own two feet. That was Sunday.

My friend’s husband suggested that I read as much as I could on usga.org to learn as much as I could about the etiquette and rules of the game. The next day, he met me at a driving range so I could figure out how to hit a golf ball. I showed up without cash and he had to spot me the $11 to get 100 golf balls. He then spent the next two-hours teaching me how to hit the ball. It was at this point that I learned that turf is far more forgiving to hit off of than grass.

I spent the next few days reading golf blogs about what to wear, calling the country club to make sure that it was okay to wear white capris to play, and buying a collared shirt and extra golf balls, just in case. That last part wasn’t as easy as it sounded. I stopped at J. Crew, Banana Republic, and Modell’s to see if they had any collared shirts acceptable for golf and none of them did. Lucky for me, Ben was nice enough to pick me up at a train station one night and drive me to a Dick’s Sporting Goods in New Jersey. Not only that, but he worked from home on Friday so that I could borrow is car to drive the hour to the country club. Seriously, it takes a village.

How did it go? I mean, I had years of N64 Mario Golf experience under my belt, so I knew what I was getting myself into. I also had ten years of soccer experience under my belt, which clearly meant I had awesome hand-eye coordination. (Please note the sarcasm. I was a left defender, not a goalie.) I think I actually hit the ball 50% of the time – and of the time I hit the ball, 10% of the time it went in a useful direction. I also learned the putting on a green is much easier than putting at mini golf (less silly windmills and clowns’ mouths to get in your way).

How did I get through it? I held my head high, I smiled, I enjoyed conversation, and I took some pretty pictures. I also decided that if I didn’t hit the ball three times in a row I would just pick it up and say I tried. Also, we got beers around hole 12, which definitely helped. Also also. There were two things I learned before I got there that made me feel infinitely better.

1) Each hole has a certain number of strokes that counts as “par” also known as “the-average-number-of-hits-it-should-take-someone-to-get-to-the-hole” (that’s my interpretation). There is apparently a rule that says if the number of strokes you’ve taken reaches two times par on that particular hole you get to pick up your ball and call it quits on that hole. That was the most brilliant thing I ever heard. I don’t mind not having a super shot at this point in my golf career, but I was really worried about getting super frustrated if everybody else was waiting on me to finish their game.

2) We played “a scramble”. What does that mean? It means that if four of you are playing, you all tee-off – from your respective tees, there is a womens’ tee that is closer up than the mens’ tee. Don’t get offended, take it as a blessing – and then decide whose ball went in the best direction / the farthest and then you all go pick up your golf ball wherever it landed and hit from the best ball’s location. This, yet again, meant that I wasn’t capable of holding everyone up.

Here are some things I learned from this experience I wanted to share with anybody golfing for the first time. (Especially those people with only a week to cram without any prior experience and no hand-eye coordination.)

Learn the words

Each hole is given a “par”. If you get one above a par it’s called a “bogey” (+1) and if you get two above a par it’s called a “double bogey” (+2). If you get one below par it’s called an “birdie” (-1) and if you get two below par it’s called an “eagle” (-2). I think other things have names too, those are the basic ones. You want to keep the ball on the fairway when you hit. Surrounding the fairway there is taller grass called “rough”, the sand traps are also called “bunkers”, big cavernous holes in the ground are called “quarries”, and the water seems to still be called the water.

Figure out how to keep score

Overall, the less strokes you get, the better. You keep track of all your strokes overall and every time you attempt to hit the ball counts as a stroke (even if you miss). On each individual hole, you mainly just count how many strokes above or below par you were. I’m sure it’s more complicated than this, but really you just need to know the basics the first time.

Figure out what style of golf you’re playing

Maybe you’ll be lucky like me and play a scramble. Or maybe you’ll play the real way. Ask the people you’re going with ahead of time. If you’re playing the real way you need to know that the person who got the best score on the previous hole hits first and the person the farthest back after the first hole hits. If you’re playing with people who are pretty chill, that all probably won’t matter.

Learn when to use each club

You start with your driver, it helps you hit the furthest. Then your woods will take you the next longest distance (no, they’re not actually made out of wood anymore), and then your irons. Then you have a pitching wedge (which you use when you’re close to the green, but not close enough to putt) and a sand wedge (which you use to get out of bunkers). And then you have your putter, which you mainly use on (or close to) the green. The lower the number on the club, the farther it goes horizontally. The higher the number on the club, the higher it goes vertically. And if you’re me and can’t actually really hit the ball, they’re all probably exactly the same except the wedges and the putter. The reason this is important? You need to take a golf club out of your bag every time you need to hit a ball. Also, feel free to take two clubs with you if you think you’re going to need one right after the other. (Leave the others in the golf cart – or with the caddie? We didn’t have caddies. I know nothing about caddies. I did bring extra cash in case I needed to tip anybody though.)

Go to a driving range

At least try hitting a ball a far distance. When I met up with the people I was golfing with we happened to be standing right next to a practice driving range area. Two people from my group went down to a grassy area and hit their balls – I thought they were practicing still. Little did I know we were on the first hole. When I got up to tee off (which I forgot to take a tee for) I realized it really was just me, all alone, all eyes on me. And in that moment, I was very grateful I had even attempted to do this before. Lucky for me, my first shot went relatively okay (when the most eyes were on me because were still at the clubhouse), but trust me there were many many shots afterwards that didn’t go quite as okay.

Learn the etiquette

There is so. much. etiquette. When it comes to golf. Not only do you need to know who hits when and what you’re supposed to wear, but you also need to be aware that you’re supposed to rake a bunker if you or the ball go in it and that you either need to replace the divot (the large chunk of grass you hit out of the ground when you tried to hit the ball) by putting the chunk of grass back or filling the hole with a sand mixture the course gives you when you start. You need to know where you’re allowed to drive the golf carts on the course. You need to know what you can and can’t wear in the clubhouse. You need to be aware that if you golf on a private course you need your own golf clubs (hence, why I wasn’t just able to share with someone). Learning all of this etiquette was the biggest thing I did before I got to the course. Everyone would pretty much expect me to stink at actually hitting the ball since it was my first time out, but if I could avoid embarrassing myself for a different reason, that would be good.

Look the part

I was debating whether or not I should try to look the part. I even called the pro shop at the club to find out if I really needed to wear a collared shirt. They didn’t tell me that I had to, but they also seemed skeptical of the idea of wearing anything else. I was surprised, I felt so much more comfortable looking like I knew what I was doing on the course. And I didn’t go completely out, I wasn’t willing to break the bank on this or anything – I wore capris that I already had, my pink running shoes, a visor I borrowed from my roommate, and then I spent $30 on a new shirt. In my eyes, that was a very good $30 well spent.

Try to find a map of the course before you get there

I tried to do this. I would have loved to know what I was getting myself into when I got there, but the course actually didn’t have a map up. If I had been able to see a map I may have known we were teeing off at the very beginning instead of still practicing. Look to see how many part 3, 4, and 5 holes there are and try to see where there are any traps that you may get in your way.

Don’t expect miracles

And last but not least, if it’s your first time golfing, don’t expect miracles. On one of the first few holes, the partner who hosted us commented that to him golf is more of a skill, not a sport. His logic? You can’t drink while you play a sport. But think about it, it’s true. All of those sports that you can work on individually really are more like skills. You’re perfecting your own shot. And skills you actually need to work at. Hard. Other things that fall into this category? Bowling. Billiards. Darts. (And yes, you can drink while doing all of those.)

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And that’s it. Would I go again? Probably. I think golf is something that I would need to take a summer off and go three times a week in order to get any solid foundation for it (kind of like how I did with bowling – I was 16), but it was fun. At this point in my life though, I would much rather spend $700 on new camera equipment than a set of golf clubs. I’m incredibly grateful I got the chance to go, and I definitely wouldn’t be nearly as nervous to go next time – if there is a next time. Oh, and the entire purpose of going to get to hang out with nice people? Totally accomplished.

Have you ever golfed? Or maybe you tried a new sport for the first time recently? I’d love to hear about it below.