The 5 Stages of Party Planning (as told by a sometimes cheeky hostess)

Listen to Chrystina cheek her way through this blog post on Episode 12 of the Party Ideas & Logistics with Chrystina Noel podcast, above.

You’ve heard of the 5 stages of grief, well this is the 5 stages of party planning. As a logistics lover, I could tell you that they’re project initiation, budget development, schedule development, execution, and closeout, but today we’re taking a different take on it. Enjoy.

Stage 1: This is the best idea for a party I’ve ever had.

First you get inspired. You’ve just gotten the greatest idea. Probably in the shower, while binge watching television, or on your walk to work. You don’t know how you’ve never thought of this before; it’s ingenious. Of course everybody you know is going to want to build their dream houses out of graham crackers. And yes, it is the greatest idea in the world to buy every guest a small, customized Lego-figurine of themselves so that they can actually live in their dream house (at least until they eat it – the house, not the Lego man or woman). And yes, you’ll definitely want to setup that professional, high-quality photo booth with the green screen so people will remember this moment forever and can super impose their house into their dream backdrop.

You create the guest list, make the invite, send it out, finalize the menu (you’ve decided not to do dinner because the party is on a Friday night and people won’t have time to eat while they’re building anyway), and loosely figure out how you’re going to fit all of this in the same week you have that work project due (because that’s the only weekend in the next 3 months that you’re free). You decide to tell everybody to bring an item for house construction to make the planning easier on your part.

Stage 2: OMG. I don’t have enough food.

It’s the week of the party. You figure out that if you wake up early on Monday and Tuesday to buy all of the boxed and canned items, you can get most of the bulk work done. Then you can finish shopping at Whole Foods on Thursday night to get the best produce. And then if you run to the store after work on Friday to pick up the bread it will still be fresh for the spinach dip.

Monday you’re feeling pretty good.

Tuesday you start to realize that there are still a lot of people on the “maybe” RSVP list and if they all show up, you might not have enough food. And if Jordan is running the half marathon the next day, he’s going to want to eat more bread to carbo-load. And you forgot that your other friend’s boyfriend is a vegan, so you’ll want to make sure that in addition to spinach dip you’ll also want to buy some chips and salsa. And it never hurts to buy a few extra bags of baby carrots, because those don’t go bad for a while. Same with the boxes of crackers.

It’s at this point you realize you should probably just buy some fancy cheese because cheese trays are easy and people love them. And then they definitely won’t leave hungry. And add an apple, because then there will be something to go with the cheese besides carbs. And you’ll add some guacamole to the list as well because then the vegan person will have options too. But you’re going to buy that pre-made, because that’s where you draw the line on time management.

Oh, and you’re super grateful for your partner who stayed up late with you last weekend to build out that green screen.

Stage 3: Why do I even do this?

You’ve made it to Friday. You somehow dragged yourself to the grocery store after work on Thursday and made sure you had all the ingredients. (Except the bread, because you’ll get that after work.) You also bought some apple cider because it’s in season and who can resist a cup of apple cider. No, a mug. And we should heat it. (Note to self: Buy cinnamon sticks when you buy the bread tonight.) You get a text message around lunchtime.

Pat: I’m so sorry, I’m not feeling well today. I woke up this morning with a fever, and I was hoping if I took a nap this morning I would feel better, but I’m not, and I don’t want to get anyone sick. I hope you have a great time tonight, sorry to miss it!

Eek. Totally understandable, a bummer, but yeah, you definitely don’t want Pat there to contaminate everyone at the party. Around 3:00pm you get another text message.

Sam: My cousin just texted me and told me she’s coming to town last minute and I need to pick her up from the train station, so Alex and I won’t be able to make tonight. Next time though!

Another two. Down to 12. Crap, wasn’t Sam supposed to bring the graham crackers? Updated shopping list for after work: bread, cinnamon sticks, graham crackers. On your way out from work you get one more message:

Will: So sorry, this weekend has gotten crazy, won’t make it tonight. Have fun!

Alright 11 (not including the 4 people who didn’t RSVP).

You start to do the math on this.

You invited 45. On Monday, 22 people had RSVP-ed yes (10 nos, 13 maybes). Now you were going to be lucky if you got a dozen people. Why did you spend all of that money? And you definitely could have slept in Monday and Tuesday instead of getting up early since there was so much food to buy.

Why are you even wasting your time? (The same week you were busting your butt on on that work presentation.) Never again, seriously.

And what are you going to do with all of those personalized Lego men and women you bought for each person? You could mail it to them. But they don’t definitely don’t deserve it.

Stage 4: OMG. I bought way too much food.

You run home, you’re frustrated, but you still remember to stop at the store and pick up your 3 items, as well as an extra can of frosting just in case (if you run out of frosting you can always make homemade frosting after people arrive), and you start to put the final details in place.

As you start to put everything out on the counter you find yourself thinking, how did I let this happen again?

Now you have chips, salsa, guacamole, spinach dip, carrots, bread, extra bread, candy corn, a cheese plate, crackers, and apple cider – for 25 people. You’ve spent $200 on a party that you could have spent $120 on. And you definitely shouldn’t have bought those extra two cheeses for the cheese plate. You make a mental note to yourself not to do this again.

(And you cross your fingers that this time that sentence actually sticks.)

Stage 5: I can’t wait to do this again.

The first people show up 5 minutes early, they’re always the first two people to your party, and you know them well enough that you can put them to work.

The next two people arrive. Then another, then another. Nine people in total show up. Everyone has an excellent time. You have more than enough graham crackers. (And frosting.) People who didn’t know each other at the beginning of the night are now engaged in meaningful conversations. Everyone loves the little Lego men and women and comment on the fact that you pay so much attention to the details and that’s why they love you.

The photography green screen setup works out great. Your friends choose to superimpose their houses into all sorts of places from Hawaii to a galaxy far, far away. You send home leftovers with everyone who showed up (who are very grateful to have weekend snacks).

Lou stayed to help do all the dishes at the end of the night. Liz asked for your spinach dip recipe. And Tim wanted to know Chris’ email address so that she could join his weekly D&D game.

You remember that you’ve got some incredible friends. And that you really do love bringing these people together.

Sure, you forgot to cut up the apple for the cheese plate (you always do), and you’ll definitely be eating crackers for the next 4 months (because you forgot that people would way rather eat bread than crackers… again), but as you climb up the stairs at the end of the night you smile and think to yourself, maybe I’ll wake up early tomorrow to mail those little Lego men and women to my friends tomorrow after all.

On the walk to the post office the next morning you find yourself wondering, wouldn’t it be great to host a happy hour where all of my friends write holiday cards to the folks in the nursing homes around the city? And the angel on your shoulder whispers, yes, that’s definitely the best idea you’ve ever had.